If you think you're about to read a rant aimed at people outside of our ethnic group, you're wrong! I've got a legitimate rant that is directly aimed at Black parents.
Last Thursday, there was a racially motivated incident in my learning community. Before I get into the details of what occurred, let me share some background information with you.
My classroom population is predominately children of color. I have twenty-one children who are enrolled in my room. Three of the children are White. The remaining children are Black, Brown or Bi-Racial.
A group of six girls decided to tell another girl in my room that she could not play with them. Their reason for excluding her at that particular moment was this: "You're too light skinned to play with us."
Did I mention that the children in my community are ages 3, 4 and 5? They are all pre-schoolers.
This act of discrimination caught the attention of my co-teacher first. She made the gang of six go to the table and sit down. I was out getting a drink of water when this all took place. After she told me what happened, I found myself having a surge of instant anger.
I hate it when Black people do this. When we play the light-skinned v.dark skinned game with each other. My maternal great-grandmother was into that mess. It caused a lot of division and grief among our family. We have been devouring each other over complexion tones for too long!
At this point in the situation, I had to conduct what is known as a teachable moment. The girl that they had singled out is actually darker than some of the girls who used the color snub. A point that she brought to their attention.
I decided to use myself as an example. I am in the same complexion range as at least three of the girls. I asked them this question. "Am I too light to be your teacher?" They all said no. I pointed to my co-teacher who has a rich dark brown tone and asked them, "Is she too dark to be your teacher?" Once again the response was no. Then I did a quick lesson on how we are all okay just like we are.
But, I had to ask why they decided to say something like that to one of our friends? There was no response at first. Then I hear from one of the girls that members of her family do this all the time. And she thought it was okay because it was true. The girl they singled out was lighter than them.
After I got this little group to closely examine our skin tones, they realized that she was either the same shade as they were or just a little more darker or lighter. Ironically, the child with the darkest tone still stubbornly refused to apologize or acknowledge her error.
I finally got her to break her stance when I looked at her and said,''Would you like it if we told you that you're too dark to play with us?" Now this might not be the best way to handle this situation but it worked. She looked at me and nodded her head no. Then she apologized to the offended child.
I'm tell you all what even the experts say is true. Parents are their child/children's first teachers. This trend of singling out one Black person as different due to the tone of their skin is wrong! We have done this for too long. At the expense of each other's feelings.
Do you think that people outside of our race make that distinction? When they discriminate against us-how dark or light skinned we are does not make a difference. We are Black in their minds. No matter what our skin tone is-we are Black-period.
Please consider what you are teaching your children! Black on Black racism has got to stop!
5 comments:
I agree. My mother had/has a color issue. Insisted that I look for light skinned or other races so my kids can have 'good' hair. I went the other direction. But, like i told her, black of any shade is beautiful. I don't point out light skinned or dark skinned to my children. because they're all black kids. They have enough racial issues to deal with outside their race. I don't want to teach them racial issues within also.
My wife teaches in a inner-city school of we have conversations concerning what she witnesses in her classroom all the time. And the foolishness she witnesses all comes from home. It's grown-up foolishness that the children are simply rehearsing so that they might replicate it as soon as they get older and get their own families.
My wife and I have often said if we could just get some of the children away from their parents, they would turn out all right.
I don't know what to say or do. We must do better to be good parents to our children. I wish I could hold a press conference for all these parents, pass out press packages, and somehow get them to listen.
I am speechless by what you describe. That is amazing. How young children are when they learn to hate. Bless you for teaching gently, yet firmly, to overcome that stuff.
I was so upset over this situation!
These children are too young to be using complexion tones as a basis for discrimination.
*sigh* We have got to do better than this.
I know you've read enough of my stuff now to note this irks me to no end. I confess that down here in NOLA, I've never seen it in reverse like this, however, where the children exclude the lighter-skinned child. I've seen/heard darker people make mean comments about lighter-skinned people behind their backs, but never exclude them. However, people I know from North Carolina and other places outside New Orleans who are lighter-skinned have experienced being excluded. A good friend of mine who grew up in the midwest also has a disturbing story about the children dividing the class into black and white and leaving her chair in the middle of the room and telling her she belonged nowhere.
It's something we have to stop. As I've said before, I'm saddened that we still think like this.
I wonder what the parent of the instigator is saying at home.
I think you handled it perfectly. Children have to learn to see themselves in the same situation, and you were teaching her we who went to church learned early, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
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